In Search of A/The Point of Life

Archive for February, 2010

KAIDIE INTERVIEWED ON WINTERTHUR RADIO STADTFILTER ABOUT (HER) LIFE 3.0 (26 January 2010)

Click here to listen to my interview with Ms Susan Krausse of the Radio Statfilter Winterthur, Switzerland on 26 January, during my 3rdlifer-in-residency at the Villa Straeuli, for your listening pleasure (sic). Since we are moving back in time temporarily, let us indulge and enjoy this wallpaper of a friend I met in Heidiland. (By the way, the following is a blatant self-promotion, but since this is my site, I am more than allowed. Here I go/come: if you wish to view the entirety of the film I made there called Kaidie In Heidiland / Heidi In Kaidieland, come to my performance-lecture at the London College of Communication 10am Tuesday 9 March. This will be Kaidie’s first Life 1.0 performance in Nondon. It will be extra-ordinary.)

HeidilandCat

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DAY 72: THE KAPUTT HAPPINESS PLUGIN 3.0.

The first image he told me about was of three children on a road in Iceland, in 1965. He said that for him it was the image of happiness and also that he had tried several times to link it to other images, but it never worked. He wrote me: one day I’ll have to put it all alone at the beginning of a film with a long piece of black leader; if they don’t see happiness in the picture, at least they’ll see the black.

- Chris Marker, Sans Soleil, 1982 Argos Film.

Are you happy? Have you ever been happy? Are you happy now? Will you stay happy? How do you know? Do you know if you are happy? Do you think you are happy? How are you certain? How certain are you? How do you measure it? What is the duration of your happiness? Is it intermittent? Does it flicker? How long does it stay? Was it invited? Was it nice? Was it difficult to upload it? Were there any errors? Did your laptop crash? Which version of the plugin have you got? What are the reviews? Has it been updated? When was it created? Is it still relevant? Is it obsolete? Is it of importance? Does it work? Is it working? Is one enough? How many do you have per day? Is it permanently switched on? Does it come on at will? Is there waiting time? Is there downtime? What is the cost? What is the price you pay? Is it open source? How long does it last? Does it last? What is a good duration for you? Do you prefer a short intense kick-in or a slow-burning diluted long-drawn one? Are you a sprinter or an endurance runner? Or do you like fartleks? Will the plugin survive? Will you survive? What is its size? Is it light? Is it easy to attach? Are you attached to it? Are you able to detach yourself from it? Are you sure? Are you in control? Is is large? Is it a comfortable fit? Is it measurable? What are the units? How many bytes? How many kilobytes? How many gigabytes? How many terabytes? Does it fit in your hardware?  Do you need an external drive for this? Have you remembered to back it up in 3 different locations lest you lose it? Is it weightless? Is it a burden? Is is immeasurable? Is it small? Is it portable? Is it laughably tiny? Is it obscure? Do you even know if it’s there? Does it even know if it was you it was looking for? What if it wasn’t? So what? What if it was? How often do you put it on? Is it automatic? Is it an automatic upgrade? Are you sure it is safe to download it? What makes you happy? How does it smell? What is its colour? Is it mixed with black? Is it black? What shade of black? How does it taste? Does it have an aftertaste? How does it feel? Rough? Nice? Same? New? Different? Does the same-ness comfort you? Does the familiarity make you happy? Does the new-ness excite you? Does the difference enhance your happiness? After it is used does it still make you happy? Do you discard it? What is the source of happiness? Does it matter? Where is it located? Is it in Nondon? Where in Nondon? How do I get there? What time should I get there? How many km does it take? How long does it take for me to walk there? How long does it take for me to swim there? Can I reach there in the next 928 days? Can I get specific directions from google map? Can my Mini, my GPS foretrex trackking system, map it down nicely? Can Mini see it? Can Mini feel it? Are the satellite signals obscured? Are there satellite signals when it kicks in? Is the plugin in conflict with other plugins? Must I deactivate others to get this running? What is the name of your happiness plugin? Is it Mini? Is it Major? Is it Many? Is it Few? Is it One? Is it Only? Is it Some? Is it the one and only? Do you believe in permanence? Do you believe in non-permanence? How do you hold on to permanence? How do you hold on to impermanence? What is left after the filtration process? What do you leave behind in the throwaway culture? What do you throwaway? What do you re-use? Why is the rusty bit on your pencil case or purse acceptable? Why is that speck of doubt on your beard unacceptable? Why do you smile? Do you smile because you are happy? Do you smile because you are not happy? Do you smile only when you are happy? Do you smile only when you are not happy? Do you have different grades of smiles? Do you laugh? Do you bend over backwards with laughter in happiness? Do you snigger? Don’t you snigger? Do you want snickers at sainsburys which cost 5 for a pound? Do you scoff at other people’s happiness? Do you show teeth when you smile when you are happy? Do you cover your mouth when you laugh when you are happy? When you smile when you are not happy, is it the same smile? When you laugh when you are not happy, is it the same laughter? Do you laugh when you are happy and nervous? Do you laugh when your happiness plugin works? Do you laugh when you happiness plugin is kaputt? Do you smile when you happiness plugin kicks in? Do you smile when you happiness plugin fails? Do you grin? How do you grin? Do you smile to yourself? Why? What are you thinking of when you smile to yourself? What triggers off that smile? Do you rate it? Do you rate your level of happiness? How would you rate your level of happiness now? How would you rate your level of happiness in general? Are you happy with your score? Do you want to improve? How happy do you want to be? Would you know when you get there? Do you know the concept of enough? Do you have low expectations? Do you have low expectations because you adjust your expectations? Do you learn from your experiences? Do you list your happiness? Do you have a list of happiness? Do you, like Sei Shonagon, have a list of things that quicken the heart? Does you heart quicken when you are happy? Does you heart slow down when you are happy? Do you have a heart? Do you have a strong heart? Do you have a weak heart? Does your heart quicken when you are not happy? Is the pursuit of happiness important? Do you pursue happiness? How do you pursue happiness? Does happiness court you? How do you flirt? Does happiness take the lead? Do you step back? Do you lunge forward? How hard do you want it? Do you let go? Who is aggressive? Who plays passive? What is the courtship process like? Who wins? Who plays hard to get? Who is the obscure object of desire? How do you let go? How do you score? How do you get it? How do you know that you get it? Do you actively pursue it? Is there effort? Is the effort worth it? Is the result worth the effort? How do you measure your success? Do you do well? Do you do well easily? Do you do well by practice? Is it difficult to get there? How do I get there? How do I get there there? Why did it go kaputt? When did it go kaputt? When will it go kaputt? When does it die? When does it expire? Can I repair it? Can I resuscitate it? Can I get a new one? What do I do with the kaputt one? Where can I recycle it? What is its material? Does it burn? Is it combustable? Is it volatile? Is it infectious? Where can I dispose of it safely? Why do you want to be happy? Is it important to be happy? Why is it important to be happy? Why should one be happy? Do you make happiness plugins? How much does it cost? Do you take credit cards? Is there an extra charge? Do you take debit cards? But my debit card is kaputt because some one used it to buy his happiness in my name. Do you accept cash? What currency? Can I round up the figures? Can I have a discount please? I want to buy several as backups. Can I buy in bulk? Is there a special discount for bulk purchasing? Will it arrive overnight? What time? Must I stay at home to wait for delivery? When is it shipped? Is it insured? Is it bubble-wrapped? Can I poke the bubbles of the bubble wrap? Are they large or normal bubbles? I like the large bubbles as they make a nicer sound when I jump on them. Can you wrap them in 2 layers please? Just in case the first layer gets burst?  How many plugins must I use for it to kick in? Do you fight happiness? Do you fight non-happiness? How do you fight non-happiness? Do you have enough storage space for happiness? Do you have any storage place for happiness? What is the wait for the next one? What is the average wait for it? Where is the button to press? How do I know if the wait is over? How long does it take for me to doggypaddle from here to the other side? How long does it take for me to run there? How long will I run before I get run over by a Nondon driver? How long will I run before I get run down? What is the signal opposite? What is an opposite signal? Opposite to what? What is opposite to happiness? Where is the signal opposite? When is the signal opposite? Are the signals in conflict? How can I help? Where do I stand? Are they talking to each other? Are they in cahoots against me? Who can come on my side to fight them? What do I need to fight them? How can I win this battle? How can I cross with care? Shall I cross? How much longer must I wait?

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UPDATABLE GLOSSARY: THE MEANING(S) OF LIFE

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GLOSSARY/ WIKI ABOUT THE UNIVERSE OF KAIDIE / LIFE 3.0,? AND THE THEATRE OF CHARACTERS (ongoing). SEEKING DEFINITIONS AND ALTERNATIVE DEFINITIONS! CONTRIBUTE NOW!

VARIATIONS OF MEANING OF LIFE

* Meaning of Life

Monty Python, The Meaning of Life, 1983:

Why are we here? What’s life all about? Is God really real, or is there some doubt? Well, tonight, we’re going to sort it all out, For, tonight, it’s ‘The Meaning of Life’. What’s the point of all this hoax? Is it the chicken and the egg time? Are we just yolks? Or, perhaps, we’re just one of God’s little jokes. Well, ça c’est le ‘Meaning of Life’. Is life just a game where we make up the rules. While we’re searching for something to say, Or are we just simply spiralling coils Of self-replicating DNA. Nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay. In this ‘life’, what is our fate? Is there Heaven and Hell? Do we reincarnate? Is mankind evolving, or is it too late? Well, tonight, here’s ‘The Meaning of Life’. For millions, this ‘life’ is a sad vale of tears, Sitting ’round with rien nothing to say While the scientists say we’re just simply spiralling coils Of self-replicating DNA. Nay, nay, nay, nay, nay, nay. So, just why– why are we here, And just what– what– what– what do we fear? Well, ce soir, for a change, it will all be made clear, For this is ‘The Meaning of Life’. C’est le sens de la vie. This is ‘The Meaning of Life’.

* Meaningful Life

* Less Meaningless Life

* Happiness

* More of the Same

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DAY 68: LOVE IN LIFE 3.0: ONE OF THE POSSIBLE MEANINGS OF LIFE 3.0? (HAPPY BELATED VALENTINE’S DAY.)

In my lifelong quest for The Meaning of A Life 3.0, Guillaume, one of my Dear Readers, writes in and advises me to seek love in Life 3.0. Specifically, he does not suggest that I ‘find love’ in general; instead, he says that I should ‘find many loves’. Perhaps that can help me to find the meaning of life / my Life 3.0?

As a 2+month old, ‘love’ is an abstract concept to me, be it in the single or plural form. What better place for an answer, or rather, many pseudo-answers, than the Internet.  I wikipedia-ed the 4-letter word, learn a little about it. (For that matter, ‘life’ is another 4-letter word that is abstract, though perhaps slightly less so since I am a practitioner of it [and you too, I assume?]). Love sounds like an interesting notion. I (assume that I) know how to ‘be’, but ‘being in love’ is something else. In the past 67 days, I have fallen off the treadmill before, but I have not fallen in love. With the ups and downs, pain and pleasure, anticipation and disappointment, hoo and haa and brouhaha, performance and ritual, melodrama and horror+slapstick+action and all that, I wouldn’t mind toying with my emotions. In this short life, I have nothing to lose.

In my short lesson to learn about all that theorising about love, I come across another 4-letter word: date. Given however that I have much less time (932 days left only in my entire life) than most other people ‘out there’, I can not afford to date date. Instead, I must speed date. So I did.

All photographs, except that of the book, are taken by Mr Lorenzo Levrini. The faces of the participants become pixelated from the propsect of experiencing l-o-v-e.

With Valentine’s Day in the backdrop, I soak in the atmosphere, although this time I do it not by turning myself into a sponge, but by seeking matchmaker Afterdita Pacrami, who encourages me to participate in a speed-dating event, called London Loves Speeddating. I bring along a book called Virtual Dimension (John Beckmann 1998).

So there are 8 men and 8 women, and there is a band playing. The idea is that after every tune, ie about 3-4 minutes, the men rotate themselves. Given my very short attention span due to my very young age, this format suits me just fine. Many of the men are indeed very interesting people. Some can speak exotic languages, some have lived in faraway lands, one unpacks Gaudi’s influences eloquently, others are sexily into law and the hard sciences. Most seem to be nice, kind and lovely people. But it stops there – love-ly, but not love itself. Sadly there is none of that topsyturvyturmoil that is described on the internet about l-o-v-e itself.

So Kaidie’s first ever dating, and speed dating event, has failed. (Maybe I should try speedhating instead?) My attempt to find love has resulted to nought. Thank you Guillaume for your advice, but I have to report that I can find not even one single love, let alone ‘many loves’, but I will still keep an other 4-letter word, h-o-p-e.

For now, let me plunge deeper into the Virtual Dimension, until something n-i-c-e comes along. As usual, your k-i-n-d advice is welcome.

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DONATE ONLINE NOW!! SUPPORT KAIDIE’S 10km RUN FOR MEDECINS SANS FRONTIERES 14 MARCH SUNDAY 0900hrs REGENTS FARK.

Kaidie is grateful to Joel Cunningham of UCL Friends of MSF for helping to create this post.

On the 14th of March Sunday, 0900hrs, Kaidie will run a 10km race in Nondon’s Regent’s Fark to raise money for Médecins Sans Frontières. DO show your support by DONATING TO KAIDIE’S RUN! This is a pain-free process. CLICK HERE TO DONATE NOW! Simply write at the message box ‘KAIDIE NONDON’. If you are UK tax payer, this site makes it easy for MSF to claim back an extra 28% from your donation. ANY amount is fine! NO amount is too small! (And of course, NO amount if too big!) A small effort/token is better than none!

Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) is an international humanitarian medical aid charity which is currently working in around 60 countries around the globe. Some of their recent efforts have been directed towards the devastating earthquake in Haiti, the ongoing unrest in Sudan and the so-called ‘neglected diseases’ such as Chagas. This year there will be at least 200 people from in and around London running.

Like Kaidie, please visit the following sites to learn more about MSF’s work, as well as the 2010 run: * The efforts of MSF * MSF on Youtube * MSF UK on Twitter * Friends of MSF Charity Run 2010 Facebook Event * Friends of MSF Charity Run 2010 blog * UCL Friends of MSF’s Photostream

Left: Astride Louissaint, 25 years old. Middle: Psychologist Marie Lafortune assesses patients in Martissant for psychological needs. Right: Haitian nurses comforting each other in Martissant. Photographs by Julie Remy/MSF.

My Dear Readers, DO support MSF’s work by contributing your hardearned £, $, cents, pennies, euros, francs, marks, schillings, dinars, leva, pesos, rupiahs, kroner, rupees, shekels, yen, guilders, zlotychs, won, lira, for Kadie’s run! We all know how many excuses we (you and I) can come up with, so this process has been made painless, JUST FOR YOU. Donate online NOW! Click on this long link NOW!! If you understand the logic of cause-effect/karma, you should do what you’ve got to do, NOW. If you don’t understand that ‘for every action there is a reaction’, well, just wait and see. And wait. And see. See?

From today, I will also be updating my Dear Readers here, Twitter and Facebook about the amount I have raised, and also publish your name. After the run, I will compile the list of donors, and also share pictures with you. As usual, we can also have live chats via Facebook or this website (scroll down), for any inquiries you may have with regards to this campaign-within-a-campaign (of looking for a meaning of Life 3.0).

If you’d like to come and support me on the day – the run will be starting from ‘The Hub’ in the middle of Regents Park in London at about 9am. Worried that you cannot recognise me? Simply look out for the last person to come in, or one that is crawling, or the last person to leave the Fark when it closes at night. As I have stated that I wish to run a marathon by 2011 for a charitable cause, this is a good, small beginning. Again this is but a miniscule, pathetic effort from Kaidie, but better a small gesture than none (?), so do support! See you soon!

These images are from charity runs from previous years. Photos by UCL Friends of MSF’s Photostream.

Médecins Sans Frontières

Médecins Sans Frontières is an independent international medical humanitarian organization that delivers emergency aid in around 60 countries to people affected by armed conflict; epidemics; natural or man-made disasters; or exclusion from health care.

In emergencies and their aftermath, MSF rehabilitates and runs hospitals and clinics, performs surgery, battles epidemics, carries out vaccination campaigns, operates feeding centres for malnourished children and offers mental health care. When needed, MSF also constructs wells, dispenses clean drinking water, and provides shelter materials like blankets and plastic sheeting.

Through longer-term programmes, MSF treats patients with infectious diseases such as tuberculosis, sleeping sickness, and HIV/AIDS and provides medical and psychological care to marginalized groups such as street children.

MSF was born in the early 1970s out of the exasperation of a group of French doctors who worked in desperate conditions in the Biafra War (1967-1970). They were determined to create a movement to deliver independent humanitarian aid wherever it was needed, and one that would speak out about the plight of the victims it helped. In order to fulfil these goals, MSF was created in complete independence of any political, religious or economic powers. The organisation remains fiercely protective of these core values today.

In recognition of its humanitarian actions in such areas as Afghanistan, Ethiopia and Rwanda, the MSF movement was awarded the 1999 Nobel Peace Prize.

The UK office was established in London in 1993. It supports MSF’s field work by recruiting volunteers, collecting donations and raising awareness of humanitarian crises through the media. A specialist medical team works directly with the field projects to help solve urgent clinical problems.

The Friends of Médecins sans Frontières

Friends of MSF are student societies based in universities all around the UK and Ireland. They are the official student support organisation for MSF across both nations, and are run on a voluntary basis.


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ARE YOU ALIVE? ENTER QUIZ NOW! LIFE QUIZ A

Of course, I would love to meet all of you out there, and most of all, YOU, yes YOU! But please understand that I can’t quite do that, much as I would love to (yes, believe me, for real). So the best space and time where we can come together is here. FILL THIS UP AND SUBMIT TO KAIDIE, NOW! There are more than 5 different quizzes. Do complete them all! And you can fill up as many as you wish. I will publish the most interesting ones! THOSE WITH THE BEST ANSWERS WILL WIN A SPECIAL, SECRET PRIZE FROM KAIDIE!

My Fieldset
 

cforms contact form by delicious:days

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DOUBLETHINK: CONTRADICTORY IN TERMS

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One of Kaidie’s guidebooks in Life 3.0 is George Orwell’s 1984, for several reasons. Like Life 3.0, the city of London is the novel’s mise-en-scene. In Orwell’s universe, reality is seen through an inverted lens, where the Ministry of Defence fights permanent wars, and the Ministry of Love (I love this- ‘miniluv’) operates through the mechanism of fear. That deep parallels can be drawn with our reality today can not be emphasised enough. And, like the notion of doublethink, Life 3.0 embodies contradictions without contradiction, with no apology. Like Smith, Kaidie is an experiment; while Smith’s choices may seem limited compared to Kaidie’s in Life 3.0, like Kaidie, Smith  contrives to seek spaces within which he could exist/live/be. Orwell’s depiction of Smith’s process of torture through to reeducation and final love of Big Brother, is so slowburning that the  final inevitable explosion – or, more accurately, implosion -  resembles fingernails scratching a chalkboard, largo, breaking in the process and the small sharp bits scratching and incising the pink raw skin where the nail once was itself, a procedure so calculated and clinical as to be chilling, heartbreaking, repulsive and devastating as it is sublimely beautiful,  a la Pasolini’s 120 Days of Sodom, Kubrick’s Clockwork Orange or a Gould’s rendition of the slow movement of the Emperor concerto. Yet another reason why 1984 resonates with Kaidie is of course, how it has been said that the circumstances of one of her previous lives was ‘Orwellian’.

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ON TRIAL: PARTICIPANT 12(F) WITH ELECTRODES, SNAKES, 1k TONE, KY JELLY, 2 X (PLACEBO) PILLS.

Kadie undertook her first experiment as a lab rat last week. Now, Kadie is no longer Kaidie, but 12(F).

It would have been impossible to not be affected in any degree, with 4 hours of pills, existential ennui, electric shocks of varying degrees on the left hand, liberal applications of a nice lubrication, and staring at stills of snakes alternating with frames of blacks and crimson, oscillating between silence, very loud dead tones and its feedback, just like a copycat Paul Sharits or Peter Kubelka flicker film (I implore you my Dear Readers to kindly hook up your laptop to speakers, turn volume to the max, and WATCH FULLSCREEN, or, better still, projected large in a darkened space. Yes, we do know that a Web 2.0 representation does no justice whatsoever to these mindblowing films, but since the alternative is not watching them at all, sometimes a poor simulation is a lesser evil).

Hello World. My name is not Kaidie. My name is 12F. Like Smith in the final act after his elaborate reeducation process, my transformation is complete. I feel real, for once. I smile incessantly now. Life is no longer dark and hypocritical , and I am living a lie no more. I am converted. Everything is all right. The struggle was finished. 2 gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of my nose. I feel jolly wonderful. I have a perpetual smile on my face and black bars across my eyes (and so does the researcher, who must have undergone the experiment himself as well). The experiment succeeded.

I will now see Nondon with a new set of eyes. A few shades darker, if at all, if I could peek through that black bar.

Psycho_Test

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AN EXPERIMENT-WITHIN-AN-EXPERIMENT-WITHIN-AN-EXPERIMENT: TEST RAT / GUINEA PIG / FAT CAT / BROWN COW

Values in life

Values in Life

* WHAT: I am opening myself to science – I am willing to be a test rat for new medicines and any other related experiments in the field/name of science.

* HOW: Scans, psychology tests, new medicines, etc. As I have no thing to lose, and, for all we know, Kaidie might even find the, The, THE Meaning Of Life 3.0! In which case, Kaidie’s endeavour (and this travel blog) can be shut down way before 09.09.2012 as planned!! Hence I am up for any thing. Try me.

* WHY:

1. As an experiment myself, I am keen to undertake other people’s experiments as well. And if we wish to be grand about this (for Kaidie’s coming into being is as grand as it is pathetic), life – yes yours too, darling – is an experiment. I like experimenting with being an experiment-within-experiment-within-an-experiment (just as I enjoy trips-within-a-trip-within-a-trip).

2. Having already been a cockroach, hamster, a sponge, a human being and a cheap Swiss chocolate bar in my short life, it would be meaningful now to be a guinea pig, fat cat or brown cow.

3. Perhaps, if I am lucky, I may undergo yet other transformations with some of these tests! Is a pseudo-Orlan Feminist deformity sexy?  Or a quasi-Stelarc cyborgian appendage oh-so-macho? Naah, neither, no thanks. That is not quite the territory that Kaidie the Turdlifer likes to tread. Instead, she much prefers to become a brilliant Wim Delvoye product – a lovely warm piece of turd at the end of an elaborate scheme.

4. Being a make-believe being that straddles between the real and the imaginary, I would be keen to see how yet other artificial means can push my mind and body. So ‘high risk’ tests are welcome!

5. By offering myself to Science, I would be able to save other animals from being subjected to cruel scientific experiments for our selfish benefit. Save the cuddly rats! Save the cute panda bears! Save the whales! Save the tickworms! Save the cockroaches!

6. My kind contribution to man kind (sic) (if mankind deserves to receive contributions [sic]) and its quest for longevity /immortality (if these are perceived as positive goals?).

7. That said, what if this were a drug invented by pharmaceutical companies to convince us to feel inadequate and buy our way to make up for our inferiority complex? I would not be proud either if I play a part in contributing to the process to create drugs that prolong life unnecessarily (what is ‘necessary’ is precisely the interesting point of contention). While Kaidie will make a conscious effort to read the small print before she agrees to take the tests, Life 3.0 is full of such dilemma which may or may not be reconciled. We will keep an eye on this and report as we go along.

8. Kaidie expects to be financially compensated for her efforts – especially so if you are some fat cat pharmaceutical company (don’t you expect Kaidie to ‘volunteer’ her life / lives. In Life 3.0, as it is in Second Life and First Life, money plays an important role.

9. Why? Well, why the hell not?
DO YOU KNOW OF ANY MEANINGFUL EXPERIMENTS THAT KAIDIE COULD UNDERTAKE?

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IN THE PINK OF HEALTH: DAY 55: (ONE OF) KAIDIE’S MAPPINGS OF HER LIFE 3.0: NOT A WORLD OF BLACKS AND WHITES, BUT OSCILLATIONS OF IN BETWEENS.

2009oct12map

If you can read between the lines and gaze between the greys and grays, why don't you test out this mapping in YOUR life?

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DAY 54: RE-STARTING NONDON, AGAIN. A TASTE OF NONDON TAP WATER INSTANTLY TRANSPORTS ME BACK TO THIS REALITY.

gum_butts

Shall we sit on this, or chew it?

A taste of Nondon tap water, and being just an other anonymous ‘other’ in a large city of others, tells me that I am back in this reality, in Nondon.

Happy to be away and enjoying an other city when I am away, happy to be home when I am home.

Usual for new or ‘new’ beginnings, I had a haircut. I had promised to not cut my hair for the duration of my life. So I have, and haven’t – alright I have HALF-KEPT my promise. Or half-broken it (Is a glass half empty of half full? Is a mixed-raced kid a ‘half’ or a ‘double’ in Japan??) I tried. I combed my fringe to the left, right, back, front, jedw**d style, amy whinehows style, and zz top style, covering my eyes, my brains, my nostrils. It just doesn’t quite ‘work’. After my easy bus dropped me at Faker Street, near the famous Museum of Fakes where Kaidie will one day be (if she cannot get a stool next to Jeremy’s auto-icon), I went straight to the local butcher, borrowed his (are there any women butcher in Nondon?) large knife, put my head on the chopping board, and chopped off the front bit. Then, I packed the hair that dropped to the floor and fed them to the pigeons in Frafalgar Square. Though already obese due to nonstop feeding by ‘kind’ Nondon tourists, they gobbled up my hair; I can see some of which sticking out between their teeth. Alas, my short absence from Nondon has made me forget that it is illegal to feed these winged rats. The cops tried to handcuffed me but fortunately the Save The Pigeons people saved me. They believed that I was a pigeon with my new haircut.

PS 1:

A quick update – and this goes to show clearly that I DO KEEP MY PROMISES. I had promised to run 155.0km to as a gesture to compensate the 1550km  Nondon-Zurich-Nondon flight on 19 January. Since then, I had acted according to Rainold and his several terrific advice, by wearing comfortable cloths, and tried my best to feel positive emotions. I also gave myself no pressure, only pleasure. With the positive emotions and pleasures, I have covered more than 120km so far. I am currently trying to tabulate my results and will update you soon. So, I will say what I have said before, but I will say it again – WATCH THIS SPACE!

PS 2:

THANKS SO MUCH RAINOLD! I will have to come back to you to ask you how I could ‘be myself’ and ‘be a unique individual’, as I have been born with nothing. How could I be, then? I am rather puzzled and need some more advice on this, if you will!

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THANK YOU TO ALL AT VILLA STRAEULI IN WINTERTHUR!


Music by Philip Tan.

Thank you to all at the Villa Straeuli: Ms Annelise Schmid, Ms Gabriele Huggenburg, Mr Roger Girod and Rosemaria! Though short, it was a fruitful residency.

I enjoyed my first Kaidie outing. On the 26 January I gave a 1 hour lecture-performance about my Life 3.0, talked a little about my previous life, and also shared a new short film entitled Kaidie In Heidiland / Heidi In Kaidieland. A teaser is uploaded here for your viewing ‘pleasure’. It’s the opening scene of the 11 minute film that I made of my visit to Heidi in Maienfeld on 24 January. With sheer doggedness of my M&M plugin, and snorting up some 1000g of pure superstrength Arabian coffee beans – my nostrils are huge now, but it is worth the price to pay – I edited the film in the matter of a day.

As I had to travel light, I was carrying only an old NTSC CDR-PC115 SONY handycam (Even in Life 3.0, metallic electronic/digital things do not quite turn me on, but I am inclined to namedrop some of these details every now and then, to please the techno-geeky populace of my readers – yes, I’m talking about YOU, yes you!), but surprisingly it was able to capture the early morning Swiss mist at 00:00:29:00 – 00:00:40:00, which I hadn’t noticed while filming, and only noticed it when reading the images on my Final Cut Pro. Being a diehard city dweller, I had absolutely no idea whatsoever what that floaty bit was, and even though (as you know very well) I am a highly rational being with incredibly superior intellectual capabilities, for a moment I was inclined to wonder if it was some my dead mummy was trying to speak to me from the nether lands (not that she is/was Dutch). I wonder how a HD camera would have captured the same image. IF YOU HAVE CAPTURED IMAGES OF SUCH NATURAL PHENOMENA, OF NONDON OR ELSEWHERE, PLEASE SHARE! LINK YOUR MOVIES TO KAIDIE’S ON YOUTUBE.

There are 3-4 presentations coming up in Nondon in March, and I plan to show the entire film in some of these talks. WHAT DID HEIDI SAY TO KAIDIE WHEN THEY MET?  WHAT DID KAIDIE SAY TO HEIDI WHEN THEY MET? IF YOU WISH TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO KAIDIE IN HEIDILAND, DO COME FOR MY PRESENTATIONS IN MARCH! COME TOO IF YOU ARE TEASED ENOUGH BY THE TEASER, and to hear my croaking ‘live’. I will update you, my Dear Readers, in my itinerary.

Tourist

A souvenir (1.70 CHF) for Kaidie from the Zurich airport: eat this if you are a tourist; eat this and you will become a tourist; this is a tourist; this is not a tourist.

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