In Search of A/The Point of Life

EARLY DAYS

CAN YOU FILL KAIDIE’S modestly-sized SHOES? If your screen is 15″, this is the EXACT size of Kaidie’s feet. Go on, stick your feet up at your shiny screen.

I located 2 of the 3 pairs of running shoes of Kaidie's. One is half a size larger/smaller than the other, so you have no excuses for not filling any one up.

Running route courtesy of Friends of MSF Charity Run 2010.

Kaidie has been missing for more than 1 week. If she were alive, she would turn 3 months old tomorrow (12 March 2010). If she comes back on time and joins this Sunday’s charity run at Regents Fark, she would also be the youngest participant at 3 months 2 days. Given this tender age, it is only natural that she crawls the 10km, as she warns her kind sponsors and you, her Dear Readers repeatedly.

Having hacked into her travel blog and other online accounts, I am now methodically rummaging through her things in her Life 1.0, in her flat in Nondon. Yes I am no more voyeuristic than you are, but yes I do it with class and panache. Indeed Kaidie does not disappoint! I managed to find something SCANDALOUS, and took a picture with my camera. Take a good look at the image – one pair of shoes is HALF A SIZE BIGGER/SMALLER THAN THE OTHER!!! Now, what could that mean? Are they BOTH Kaidie’s? Or, perhaps Kaidie only owns ONE pair. IN WHICH CASE, THE INEVITABLE QUESTION IS, WHO OWNS THE OTHER PAIR?… … Well, certainly not ME, Kailives! Maybe there is YET an other person BETWEEN us???

Hardcore in-betweeners as Kaidie and I are, that would be quite a crowd, wouldn’t it. I suspect that Kaidie is simply living up her Life 3.0 mantra, of being so consistently inconsistent that even her feet sizes are uneven.

Any how. We still have not solved the problem of having to face the impending race for the Medecins Sans Frontieres this Sunday with NO Kaidie. Having raised £110 in a matter of 2 weeks for the run from the kind souls (THANK YOU, KAIDIE’S ANGELIC SPONSORS!), Kaidie, or SOMEONE has to run (or crawl). I am still awaiting for any of you to step in to fill Kaidie’s small shoes. It is only 10km (see route attached), with an oh-so-lovely Back-To-Bloody-Winter-Before-Nondon-Has-The-Decency-To-Make-Up-Its-Bloody-Mind-To-Turn-Spring-BECAUSE-IT-IS-ALREADY-MARCH single-digit temperature. Add to that rain too, according to different weather reports. I can be your pacer/sidekick/cheerleader. Any of us would be better than our foul-tempered Kaidie, who will run it while swearing at the rain/cold/sweat/grass/RegentsFarkDucks, etc.

But what’s temporary discomfort compared to much agony that others have to endure without medical help. Support the run. This would be Kaidie’s perfect birthday gift.

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DAY 3: UNDERCOVER AS ROACH TO EXPLORE UNDERBELLY OF NONDON

Time flies when I am having fun. I have 997 days to go. How can I get beneath the surface of things, I wonder? So I Metamorphise into a roach. Not just an ordinary roach, but one on top of the food chain (in the lowest in the food chain) – Queen Roach. With an army of me, we scuttle down Nondon and explore the nooks and crannies, all the in-between spaces, as I suspect that The Meaning Of Life 3.0 could be hiding there. You reckon?

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I MAKE A NEW FRIEND IN EAST NONDON

Explorations in the exotic east.

I swim out Mummy’s tummy and wander about. I reach a place with many tall buildings, which excite me. Peering inside, I see offices with no one, as it is a Saturday. I visit the Nondon Museum, which tells me about Nondon in the past, which is nice, since I would have quite limited knowledge of Nondon before I was born today, though I think I would also enjoy exploring cities knowing next to nothing about them. With adjustable lenses within my eyes, I see a giant cucumber in a distance. This makes me excited again. I feel hungry. With desire rushing to the end of my earlobes, I swallow a few bagels (salmon and cream cheese) at Brick Lane. I see an exhibition by an artist called Sophie Calle. This is new to me. Her work is quite interesting. So this is what contemporary art is. I think I like art. I then put on earphones and walk a tour by Janet Cardiff. As someone new to Nondon, and on the Grand Tour of Life 3.0, I like the idea of being on an other tour while being on a couple of tours. Cardiff whispers into my ears. I hear sounds of footsteps. I am unsure if it comes from the earphones or the environment. I turn around anyway, and see a person behind me. She has a large pair of plastic wings on her shoulders, which she uses to wipe her mouth.

‘Come join me on my tour’, I say to her, and offer her one of the earphones.

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