DAY 19: KAIDIE HAS SHAPESHIFTED TO A 157m SPONGE SO AS TO BETTER SOAK UP THE FESTIVE ATMOSPHERE.
How are you enjoying the festivities, my Dear Readers?
This morning I took a hard look at myself at the mirror. I quite like my current formation as a hamster – I quite enjoyed being a cockroach as well, both of which are fabulous for going undercover, but I am also exhausted of only being vertically-challenged all the time. (For instance, what in gods’ names gives short men the right to chat up short women as if they are godsends, as if I should be ever so grateful for meeting someone of a physical formation [sic] that I could crush with the tip of my little toe?! Kaidie is a 3rdlifer, for chrissake, and is adamantly against smalltownprovincial incest, inbreeding and any sort of breeding. Have you forgotten that Kaidie is a perfectly globalised cosmopolitan of metropolitan Nondon? Get out of my way shorties, let Kaidie mingle with all the other species, formations, forms, lifeforms and non-life forms out there.)
So, what should I become next? I pondered for a while… When in Rome, surely I should do as the Romans do. When in Nondon, surely I should do as Nondeners do. What better way to soak up the atmosphere than to be a sponge! But what size should I go for? A 1.57m kitchen sponge does not quite make a strong enough visual presence as a 157m one. So voila, I’ve made the transition. In order not to confuse you, my Dear Reader, for my continually refreshing renewals, renovations and reinventions, I created a diagramme for your kind reference. (My hamster formation is a few pixels, right at the left side of the diagramme, actually, can you spot it? ) As you can see, I have coloured myself in my favourite pink to try to add some neon glamour to the festive occasion. In addition, in order not to commit the frequent superhero fashion faux pas, I have dyed my square pants the same #ff02d8 shade as the rest of my body. Don’t you think this is a most fabulous getup for me to visit Frafalgar Square, the Nondon-I and the New Year’s Day Parade! How do you like it?
* PS THANK YOU my Facebook friends Breda and Vassili for your kind advice! *
* If YOU have any suggestions as to what (and when) I could become next, do SHOUT!*
Kaidie finally meeting her match in Nondon.
DAY 5: THE GUINEA PIG OF LIFE 3.0 IS FALLEN (OFF THE TREADMILL)
Fallen
In this long and lovely journey of Life 3,0, there are many lessons I will learn, as expected of a guinea pig of Life 3.0.
Indeed, I have already acquired my first injury for this road trip. At the last 100 metres of my 5km run on the treadmill, I fell off the treadmill at 14kmh, all due to the rather silly reason that I lost focus. 2 of my kneecaps have some skin off, in a warm crimson (no photohopping on this one, I tell you, my dear readers); fortunately, the other 4 legs are in tact.
Lessons learnt in Day 5 of my Quest For The Meaning of A Life 3.0:
1) DO NOT LOSE FOCUS!! It was only a quickie, and we have done this many, many times already in our previous lives – still, it happened. Now we doubt that Kaidie can complete that 42km marathon or the full 1000-days in life 3.0, don’t we! (tsk tsk).
2) Do not be injured ever again! Refer back to Rough Guide So Far: the dictum of ‘Do Not Be Hurt’. I have to have enough physical and mental stamina and fitness for the next 995 days. It is all about staying power.
3) It is dangerous to work out at the gym as a Roach. (Gregor is wise not to leave his room).
Indeed I have learnt my lesson well. If the news are to be believed, there will be more snowy days to come. Either run outdoors with a brolly, or shapeshift to a hamster to excel on the treadmill. All that hair would have cushioned my downfall from grace.
Hanging out on a snowy day 16 December 2009
DAY 4, OR 996 DAYS LEFT: HAVING SHAPESHIFTED TO A COCKROACH, KAIDIE SNEAKS INTO A PUBLIC LOO AT EATERLOO STATION, AND WHAT DOES SHE SEE?
A panda contemplating her own reflection.
We could have saved ourselves, but we didn’t. It’s amazing. What state of mind were we in, to face extinction and simply shrug it off? … We wouldn’t be the first life form to make itself extinct. But what would be unique about us is that we did it knowingly. What does that say about us?
– The Age of Stupid (Franny Armstrong, 2009)
MUMMY DIES DURING CHILDBIRTH
My birth day is also a death day. During the almighty push that is my coming-into-being from her tummy, mummy reaches her own limits and gives up, gives in, expires, kicks the bucket. At least it is a snappy death. Such is life.
At her funeral, a bomb explodes. According to the twitter feed by the met, it is a suspected terrorist attack in Nondon. All my family members are wiped out in a single splash of fireworks. They are shredded into pieces, so many that I cannot pick up.
Anxious Nondeners gathering at Frafalgar Square after the incident, awaiting updates.
So I am alone, here, in Life 3.0, an orphan, blank slate, tabula rasa, ground zero, with no memory, no baggage, no heritage, no history, no obligations, no expectations to fulfill, no roots, no customs, nothing to declare, an open book, no thing.
The clear, singular task and purpose that I am born is to look for the Meaning of Life 3.0. So we know our starting point, and the destination, but the in-between, the getting-there, is the point of this. The question is how we get there, and I need your help with that.
I say goodbye to mummy, daddy and my siblings, and embark on my trip. I move on.
NIETZSCHE SAID THAT ‘THOSE WHO HAS A WHY TO LIVE CAN BEAR WITH ALMOST ANY HOW’ – KAIDIE DOESN’T QUITE AGREE, AS THE ‘HOW’, THE JOURNEY/TRIP IS THE POINT, BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK? WRITE IN NOW!
Hello world. I’ve just swum ou…
Hello world. I’ve just swum out of Mummy. I’m Kaidie, 3rdLifer. No, I’m not Michelin-woman-hamster. I’ve managed to shapeshift back on time.
