In Search of A/The Point of Life

As we fly 18,948km Nondon-Sao Paulo (return), WE WILL RUN 189.48km IN LIFE 1.0 BY 7 NOVEMBER TO MAKE UP FOR OUR CARBON FOOTPRINTS (yes we are wussy by moving a couple of decimal points, but better a pathetic gesture than none??)

As you know (do you? did you?), we are flying to Sao Paulo this weekend to participate in Soft Borders: 4th Upgrade! International Conference. In this gathering of artists, curators and academics from 30 countries, we will be making a 20-minute presentation of our fabulouslyfeetstompinglyheartstoppingmindblowing theory, Trans-Dimensional Running For Our Lives! A Rough Guide To A Critical Strategy For Our Technologically-Layered Multiverse Today. Seasoned (ahem) and weather-beaten (ahem) world- and out-of-the-world- travellers that we are, this will be the very first time that we visit ‘that part of the world’. So, our Dear Conspirators of Pleasure, should you have any tips (Where would be interesting places to run? What to eat? What to drink? Whom to meet? What to do? What to say? How to say? etc. But unfortunately, no, we are not able to drop by at Rio for the famous beaches and silicone…) about the trip, do let us know! And, as usual, if indeed your advice is so amazing as to afford us an amazing experience or two, we will create and publish a post here to share with everyone!

As trans-dimensional runners, we would have liked to fully practice and live what we preach, of course. Nonetheless, for us to run all the way from our favourite city on earth and beyond (thus far), Nondon, to Brazil, would take a while. At 9474km one way and a grand frolicking 18,948km return (!!!), it would take – to put it mildly- ages. Recall now that we live only for 1000 days, and we have only 695 (!!!!!!!!!!!ALREADY!!!!!!! Time flies whether or not we are having fun, however we define ‘fun’, or not) days left. so for us to run to Brazil and back, we would bust our given duration many times over, and be fropped left right centre.*

*It would be appropriate at this point in time for us to have a reality check and undertake some scientific calculations: Someone at our recent ARTSingapore gig asked us how much we have run in the past 305 days of our existence. Good question, we thought. We know that we run an average of approximately 60km a week – sometimes more, sometimes less. On some days, we have 5km quickies, of speed training (we say ‘speed’, but we are pulling [y]our leg[s], as we all know by now that when it comes to running we don’t/can’t do hit-and-run quickies, unless you release an repugnantlyyelpingly ridiculousness of a ‘dog’ of a chihuahua behind us, or, ahead of us, a glass of crisp bubbly, but otherwise, we will not/can not sprint, and our running is no where near the word ‘speed’ and its variations – we do endurance and go the whole length for hours and kilometres [for instance, 1 kilometre per hour], but we simply just don’t Bolt, sorry) on the treadmill or elsewhere, and on others, we run outdoors for approximately 10-20 km. To deduce that we have run approximately a total of 2500km in the past 300 days should not be all that far from the truth, which works out to be an average of 8.3333km per day). All that said, we must confess that some days we do not run, but run off instead to conduct our¬†illicit and addictive affair with an old and very brilliant flame, chlorine. (By definition, any affair would taste sweet because they are affairs [whether or not the affairs themselves are of any good]; illicit affairs are even sweeter, and intrinsically and necessarily so, simply because of their illicitness… Hence, in spite of our vocation/mission of trans-dimensional running in this life, our ongoing stubborn dalliance with swimming in madmade pools…)

Several of your would recall a previous trip that we undertook, to visit our Facebook Friend, the legendary Heidi, in Heidiland (YES HEIDILAND EXISTS), Switzerland, during our 3rd-lifer-In-Residency in Winterthur. The return journey between Nondon-Zurich was 1550km, and after several days of wrecking our brains, we worked out a sophisticated and sustainable system of a means to compensate for our dirty carbon footprints. We understand that not all of you are as mathematically able as we are, so, to explain it in very simple means for you, it suffices to say that our system involves the movement of the decimal point to a position that would render the distance run-able for us, within a decent period of time.

Now, our Dear Fellow Runners, do understand that decency is the governing concept here- for our ‘system’ of repayment of our carbon footprints has to be sustainable and do-able. Running 18,948km would have taken us AT LEAST 1894 days if we run an average of 10km a day, which is 894 days over and above our lifespan (and we have already spent 305 days). Running 1894.8km would still take us about 189 days or 6 months. Also, we are currently in discussion with Japanese art workers about a trip in December/January/February to Asia as part of a project, which would cost at least 10,000 km – ONE WAY. As already argued in January when we undertook our trip to Switzerland, we had already acknowledged that this is but a gesture, and there is no thing big enough we can ever, ever do to compensate for our continual slow smothering of the earth. Apart from having vowed from day one (actually day zero, many life cycles ago) not to create mini-mes to add even more wrongs to all the wrongs that are already happening and all the wrongs that we are already committing, we are also cutting short our lives, and making us put in physical effort every time fly. We have heard of some other gestures such as making donations to have trees planted whenever one flies, but we are uncertain of the impact of such a deed – it does not hurt those with deep pockets and merely buys them out of their guilt (as Zizek has eloquently and sweatily articulated elsewhere). Insofar as all gestures are vain, our tactic of running to repay for our carbon footprints amounts to not much (if anything) either, but as it requires one to put in slightly more physical effort (other than the physical effort of clicking a button to agree to donate money to plant a virtual tree and alleviate one’s guilty conscience), it certainly makes one (us for instance) think twice about flying. And we speak as guiltyfrockers who absolutely adore being in mid-air in large machines, suspended in time, space, cultures, nations.

As we can’t spend the rest of our lives to pay for our Nondon-Brazil return journey, we will move not one but TWO decimal points, to run a total of 189.48km by the end of this month. We begin this repayment from 3 October, when we properly resumed our running (after resting for 2 weeks on our laurels and gloating in the glory of our completion of our first Life 1.0 marathon). So far, over the first 7 days, we had covered 84.27km. Note that although we had had some lovely walks (and a funny dip in Thames!) with some of you during this time, they are not counted, as we will only consider running, and of distances above 5km at any one time. We have 15 days left to run the remaining 100km or so, so we’d better get our ¬†magnificent inertia and monumental butts moving.

Watch this space for our updates, and cheer us on. Or, go right ahead to mock and boo us for being such a wuss, but we are trying, alright?

8 Responses Subscribe to comments

  1. michael duffy


    Is this a prelude of you running for office. You would fill your government with humility/humanity.

    Oct 17, 2010 @ 01:50

  2. Majei


    It is time! I have been sparkling in the night sky but now I am ready to land. You are not currently in the Land of the Kings, so I need to see pictorial evidence of Dalston. Can you please upload as many images as you wish to here:

    I will email you the username/password.

    Can you then add the photos to the location map (this is easy to do, but let me know if you have a problem).
    Once they are uploaded I will ask you to tag them.


    Oct 19, 2010 @ 16:21

  3. 3rdlifekaidie

    Indeed Michael – we would run with Ken to rule Nondon! Tube strikes would not affect us, as we will all commute by running! Would you vote for us?
    x Kaidie

    Oct 19, 2010 @ 22:52

  4. 3rdlifekaidie

    Fabulous Majei! We will get this going!
    Warmest regards

    Oct 19, 2010 @ 22:56

  5. Majei


    Thank you for send me your images of the Land of the King of Dalston. I am now planning my descent to be among you and, of course, to visit the king. My landing will be gentler if you could supply a few details about these images. In the right-hand panel you will see Tag. Could you possibly add a few tags to each image that explains to me what the picture shows, why you wanted to show it and – if you can – about your experience in that moment? Remember to put a phrase in “inverted commas”.

    Thank you Kaidie. The dimensions are closing in. Time is no longer of the essence, but the substance.


    Oct 22, 2010 @ 12:57

  6. 3rdlifekaidie

    Hey Majei,
    We are excited about your descent to Kingsland in Nondon, and are particularly excited about gifts you will bring for us! And, as requested, we have prepared images with tags. They may act as signposts to help you – but some may get you dislocated rather than located. Both will be equally meaningful experiences, we are certain.
    ENJOY! and see you soon
    Warmest regards

    Oct 24, 2010 @ 17:05

  7. Majei

    Dear Kaidie,

    I am close! I can see the lights of the city. I bring gifts of super-positional gems and strings of uncertain logic. But I need a few more details to help my landing: for the images you have tagged ‘junction’ can you please write a short paragraph telling me about the object, image or map.

    How is the object depicted a junction?
    Is there a signal in the picture?
    Did you know which way to turn?
    Is the junction on a map?

    I will shower you wit gifts and praises when I land and meet the king.


    Oct 25, 2010 @ 13:05

  8. 3rdlifekaidie

    Dear Majei,
    The promise of gifts and praises prompt us to undertake swift action! We have provided (provisional) descriptions/explanations/interpretations. Super-positional gems and strings of uncertain logic are exactly the sort of things that are welcome in the city of Nondon!

    Oct 26, 2010 @ 18:21


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